Pro-Jump PowerBocking Jumping Stilts Forum - Community for Power bocking / Pro Jumping!
Members Lounge => Non Bocking Chat => Topic started by: webmaster on May 19, 2008, 02:13:16 PM
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Thought you all may like this, taken from http://dysan.net/weird/show/704.html. If it fails to make you laugh then you are having a seriously bad day :D
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Hehehehehehehehe :D love it Naz, no. 7 ftw, though no.10 also rules! :D
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lol !! thats good yeh number 6 is quite funny 2 :P
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:haha: I like 5-7 and the last one! :banana:
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Ha ha Naz, that was funny, dont make me laugh tho cos it really hurts! lol. jelly x
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i like all of them :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
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Thought you all may like this, taken from http://dysan.net/weird/show/704.html. If it fails to make you laugh then you are having a seriously bad day :D
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
haha i have a t-shirt with that last quote on =]
wil have to dig it out sometime lol
Mini Ellis xx
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Daily thought for the win! :D Excellent find!
...we should try and think of some of our own :)
...thinks...
...Fails. (maybe later) ;)
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Was it meant as a joke Naz :biggrin:
I thought it was all good advice except
1. Thats silly you don't put ice in beer so how could I choke :thumbs:
2. Never cut myself cooking Thats womans work :nana:
3. Solved that one first argument about the loo seat I unscrewed is and chucked it out no arguments now :thumbs:
4. High blood pressure Hur thats for people that give a :censored:
5. Whats an alarm clock ???
6. Buy bicycle clips and you can cough again :banana:
7. You forgot "If she talks an shouldn't" on the duct tape bit :biggrin:
8. Do I really for that long :haha:
9. Even I run out of ideas sometimes :biggrin:
I'm safe I live in a bungalow :banana: :banana:
Jason :Hoofies2:
Ps Girls please don't hit me I'm only joking :haha:
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I won't show my girlfriend that. She'd beat you up. ;D
...Yes. She could! :D lol.
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I’m surprised his better half hasn't already done that a few times :D
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It's strange some times random females just walk up and punch me :biggrin: can't understand why ???
And yes she does beat me regularly I'm a battered husband :'(
Jason :Hoofies2:
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It's strange some times random females just walk up and punch me :biggrin: can't understand why ???
And yes she does beat me regularly I'm a battered husband :'(
Jason :Hoofies2:
Awww :rolleyes: ... *slaps Jason* :haha: Just kiddin. You are funny.
:spudT:
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:haha:
I was about to write a similar reply Spud but you got there first :biggrin:
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Thankyou Girls
Another 2 random slaps just for being me :biggrin:
And they say men are violent :nana:
Jason :Hoofies2:
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battered bockers?
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9. Even I run out of ideas sometimes :biggrin:
I'll help you out again.
9. If turning it off and on again doesn't solve it, it's not an electrical problem.
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tundraH you forgot about the technical tap
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erm, point no.9, thats what we use on the aircraft, If i smack it with a hammer, and it doesnt work, its an electrica trades problem!! lol!!
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http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
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http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
My brother got an electric shock of a fridge once ! I didn't believe him untill I had put my in the same place :censored: :banghead:
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http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
that was quite funny! Thanks for sharing :)
:spudT:
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haha, awesome! I was trying out a shock collar for our dog a couple weeks back; fortunately it had a power dial to control how powerful of a shock you deliver. I got up to 2.5 (out of ten) before I decided going higher would be a bad idea. gotta love electricity.
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I have 2 fears. Electric shocks and babies.
here is a random thing. I know a guy that has been hit by lightning...TWICE!!!
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my friend tried a shock collar we couldnt stop laughing at him twitch :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
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We used to get electric shocks from a pinball machine where I lived in Germany. If you put your hand in the right place, and held the hand rail on the stairs next to it you got a similar shock to when you touch a cattle fence. ;D We used to wait for people to lean on the hand rail then touch their hands to give them the shock! ;D
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i love giving people shocks i shocked my sister with a home built tazer
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Home built tazer ??? whatever
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http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
lol brilliant... proves how much a couple of triple a's can do. :P
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But nothing really happens when you lick them!
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try licking both ends to make them wet, then hold one end to you tongue and touch the other end with your finger, you can feel a little bit then.
lol
(not that i spend all my time licking batteries) Honestly :P
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try licking both ends to make them wet, then hold one end to you tongue and touch the other end with your finger, you can feel a little bit then.
lol
(not that i spend all my time licking batteries) Honestly :P
it doesnt look that way!!! Numpty! ^^^clicked on home while in chat 3 times in about one min LMAO
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Well my short term memory isn't too great, and maybe i make the same mistakes over and over :P
But at least i don't wizz around my classroom on rolly computer chairs over and over....
:D
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Lick the 9V oblong ones, they are much better!! OO I had a t-shirt made up of the quote of the day(see first post) but changed it to read AMMs (Aircraft Maintenance Mechanics) they are the new baby engineers that know nothing!! lol!
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Something like this would be even better!
(If you're crazy that is)
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Well my short term memory isn't too great, and maybe i make the same mistakes over and over :P
But at least i don't wizz around my classroom on rolly computer chairs over and over....
:D
Yea well its quite a good little classroom to turn into a racing track. There is a center island and then more tables around the outside...perfect.
And that car batt would certianly make your hair stick up a bit
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And that car batt would certianly make your hair stick up a bit
Would ??? or did :D
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And that car batt would certianly make your hair stick up a bit
Would ??? or did :D
WOULD :D
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Gaffer makes a good make shift plaster just reverse a bit over the cut :thumbs:
And if their yelling out in pain make a good pain killer too ! :o
Gag them, stops the pain in your ears :biggrin:
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remember the golden rule "Silence is Golden and Ductape is Silver" :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: