Pro-Jump PowerBocking Jumping Stilts Forum - Community for Power bocking / Pro Jumping!
Members Lounge => Non Bocking Chat => Topic started by: PowerJoe on June 25, 2008, 09:56:05 PM
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She lay on the earth in the meadow, her naked form basking in the pale morning light. She felt content, feeling the cold droplets of dew on the grass chilling her warm skin. She took a momment to admire her nude body, the volumptuous curves that would drive any male mad glowing in the sun. Glad to be rid of her coverings as a cool breeze rippled accross her body raising goosebumps. She gazed over at him, a handsome man, the farmers younger son. It had been her first time, and she had trembled with anxious anticipation as he reached out his calloused hands to her body. She recalled his eager hands, seemingly filled with the inexperience and vigour of youth take hold of her in a confident and well practised manner. She had relaxed, realising he knew how to handle her body. He had been slow, gentle and patient and she had enjoyed every minute of it.
Molly the sheep couldnt wait til next shearing season
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Don't let the Welsh Bockers read this
Wales will run out of water with all the cold showers being taken :haha:
Please don't hit me Locky :biggrin:
Jason :Hoofies2:
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Heheh.....Paddy and Murphy were working away on a building site when Paddy turned to Murphy and said "I'm fed up of this job,I gotta get outta here."
"You'll need an excuse" said Murphy
" I've used them all" Paddy replied
"Pretend you've gone mad" says Murphy
"Now that's a good idea....Whadya reckon I should do?" says Paddy
Murphy replied "Dunno...Pretend you're a lightbulb?"
So Paddy climbed up the scaffolding and hung himself upside down by his knees on a cross member....Coupla minutes later the foreman walked by and happened to glance upwards.Seeing Paddy hanging there bat fashion,he called out
"Paddy what the hell are you playing at?"
"I'm the lightbulb boss" said Paddy
"You've lost the plot! Pack your tools and pi$$ off!"
Paddy climbed down and duly packed his tools.....Then the foreman noticed Murphy packing up too.....
"Where the hell do you think you're going Murphy?" says the foreman
"You just sent my lightbulb home and I can't work in the feckin' dark now can I?" said Murphy....
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ahaha good one nobby - carl should try that, hes a builder xD
Mini Ellis xx
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Three Girls (A Brunette, a Blond and a Redhead) are caught on the top floor a burning building
A group of men get a blanket, stretch it between them a call for the Girls to jump into it
The Redhead jumps first and at the last second the Guys whip the blanket away and "SPLAT"
They stretch the blanket again and shout for the other Girls to jump explaining that they don't like Redheads but they will catch the other two
So the Brunette jumps and again they whip the blanket away and "SPLAT"
They stretch the blanket again and shout that the last girl will be ok as all men like blonds but she won't have any of it and shouts back
"You won't catch me like that I'm not as stupid as the other two I don't trust you but if you lay the blanket on the ground and back away I'll jump into it"
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Being as we're going off on a tangent.....What's an Essex girl's favourite wine?
"When are you taking me to Lakeside?"
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theres 2 muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "blimey its hot in here". "HOLY CRAP, A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!" :biggrin:
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Don't let the Welsh Bockers read this
Wales will run out of water with all the cold showers being taken :haha:
Please don't hit me Locky :biggrin:
Jason :Hoofies2:
Not sure if you are brave, stupid or suicidal :nana: :lol: :biggrin:
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:haha: :haha: most of the eccentric inventors I know of are all of the above! :biggrin: :biggrin:
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hey im all those things
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Lil Lozzi and Greg should find this funny...Sense of humour by-pass not withstanding!
A Dyslexic bank robber walks into his local HSBC, Levels a water pistol at a cashier and says" Hold it right there mothersticker! This is a Fu@#up!!!! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
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A Dyslexic walks into a bra
" These slimming biscuits you sell !? Do you eat them before or after meals ? ..... What do you mean ... Instead off !!! "
They say rice cakes are better than a bag of crisp if your dieting !?
True !
Don't taste of much but once you put the marshmallows and chocolate spread on them they don't taste too bad :biggrin:
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Lil Lozzi and Greg should find this funny...Sense of humour by-pass not withstanding!
A Dyslexic bank robber walks into his local HSBC, Levels a water pistol at a cashier and says" Hold it right there mothersticker! This is a Fu@#up!!!! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
yes that did make me laugh lol
i havent heard that one befor
lol
xx
lozzi
xx
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lmao with the dyslexic jokes. Btw, do dyslexics get headaches from eating alphabet soup? :biggrin:
In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face and told it to get a job. Thats how the world started :biggrin:
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Do Dyslexics cark there par in a parcark
Or feel feek and weeble when they have flew
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If a tree falls in an empty forest does anyone hear it?
Yes, Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris hears everything!
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But if a tree falls on Chuck Norris will we hear it as he's not the type to scream is he :haha:
Jason :Hoofies2:
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But if a tree falls on Chuck Norris will we hear it as he's not the type to scream is he :haha:
Jason :Hoofies2:
No, if a tree fell on Chuck Norris, the tree would snap in half :haha:
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hus clever idea was it to spell dyslexics like that anyone with the problem cant write it down
and hus clever idea was it to put a S in lisp :biggrin:
What does DNA stand for....... National Dyslexic Association :biggrin:
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why does everyone think chuck norris is so good?
oh crap he also sees everything urm you suck
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u say bout dyslexica being hard to spell ( yh i just copyed it )
but the word for ppl with a fere of lond words id 30 something letters long lol
an yh lisp aint fair all thease sort of wrods contredict the probleem ppl hav
xx
lozzi
xx
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I took this today !
What if Darth Vader and Chewbacca and children what would they look like ?
Chew Vader
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v699/Dark-Knight/ChewVader.jpg)
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but the word for ppl with a fere of lond words id 30 something letters long lol
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words. How unfair is that? :D
In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face and told it to get a job. Thats how the world started :biggrin:
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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I swear this is real
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v699/Dark-Knight/zz.jpg)
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Ouch
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This has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in months
By the look on some of the cats faces someone is gonna die later
My favorites are the last one (Noooooo) and the good little kittys face that is a look that will last
http://emailfromgrandma.com/2008/03/17/washing-cats/
Jason :Hoofies2:
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My cat sit out side in the rain and rolls in the mud !?
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damn i hate cats, there so damn ugly lmao but those pictures are funny, i must admit it lol
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How To Wash The Cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.
3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and
close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so
that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too
close to the edge, as his paws will be
reaching out for anything he can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides
a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be
quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure
that there are no people between the toilet and the
outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and
quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and
run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The DOG
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Ellis !?
Where you the person I was going to give a left to ?
Cause I'm taking my lovely Kit-Kat instead !?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v699/Dark-Knight/Kit-Kat.jpg)
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teehee i love cats really
yours is cute...but mines just a big ball of fluff that just sleeps and eats
(http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r312/Mini-Ellis/DSC00235.jpg)
Mini Ellis xx
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Let you off :)
Don't know what my cat does apart from eat, seat in a bird feeder and hide in the long grass. She never stays in the house !?
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Let you off :)
Don't know what my cat does apart from eat, seat in a bird feeder and hide in the long grass. She never stays in the house !?
Lol my cat - Timmy isnt realy my cat but he kind adopted us =] so we r happy with him lol he lazes around on our decking most the day in the sun tills hes red hot then 'flops' down on his back in the shade xD then meows at everyone for some food, the when he gets kicked out at 9pm he normall makes a big fus and hisses at eveything but sometimes hes not too bad lol
Mini Ellis xx
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he lazes around on our decking most the day in the sun tills hes red hot then 'flops' down on his back in the shade xD then meows at everyone for some food, the when he gets kicked out at 9pm he normall makes a big fus and hisses at eveything but sometimes hes not too bad lol
Mini Ellis xx
SEE, cats are evil lazy beasts who spawned from the pits of hell!!! Nasty creatures :damnit:
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he lazes around on our decking most the day in the sun tills hes red hot then 'flops' down on his back in the shade xD then meows at everyone for some food, the when he gets kicked out at 9pm he normall makes a big fus and hisses at eveything but sometimes hes not too bad lol
Mini Ellis xx
SEE, cats are evil lazy beasts who spawned from the pits of hell!!! Nasty creatures :damnit:
But if u were a cat i bet u would like to laze around all day and not do much
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You don't have to be a cat to want to do that. ;)
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We adopted Kit-Kat when is was very very young !
Poor thing must have been born wild or lost soon after birth.
This poor little scrap of a cat would look round for food so I went to the shop for some cat food, it wolf it down :o
It still not tame, if I'm lucky she may let me get close.
We found out it was a she when she got kittens, the cat shelter took care of her and kittens and we said we'd adopted Kit-Kat.
See I may look big but I a big softy :)
But if you don't like my cat >:(
I'll thump you :biggrin:
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You don't have to be a cat to want to do that. ;)
yes but cats dont have owners they have ''staff'' =]
Mini Ellis xx
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You don't have to be a cat to want to do that. ;)
yes but cats dont have owners they have ''staff'' =]
Mini Ellis xx
So how much do you get paid then ??? :P
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Cat owners don't get paid in money,we just get lots of love(ecept when we have to scrub him!). See my avatar. That's our little moggy,he's called Splat and he loves lying on his back having his tummy rubbed. He eats,sleeps and then runs about like an idiot for half an hour before he goes back to sleep again! We've had him for nearly 7 months and we'd not be without him now. Cat's are great animals if you like them. :biggrin: :biggrin:
-Nobby
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There are infact 5 times more cat owners than cats in the UK.
This is simply because cats go from house to house and the person thinks they have taken in a stray and "own" it. So when a cat goes in for its yearly vaccinations it probably ends up having 3 over the course of the year when it only needs 1, and is also why you occasionally get cats in for spays... and they've already been spayed :-X
(http://www.meanwhale.com/images/cookie-cat-small.jpg)
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:haha: If I was given a quid for every time my little feline friend gave me that cute look! I'd give every penny to the RSPCA... What I don't get is how that look couldn't melt the coldest of hearts. There are those who'd see a sack of kittens drowned in a canal instead of giving them to a loving home...We live in a sad world sometimes.... :'( :'(
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There are those who'd see a sack of kittens drowned in a canal instead of giving them to a loving home...We live in a sad world sometimes.... :'( :'(
Sadly yes. We had a cat brought into work that's a stray. Sadly, because it had fleas, mites, ticks, diarrhoea, and has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, corneal ulcers, feline influenza, and is campylobacter positive, CPL are having a hard time trying to find some to rehome it.
I would as I've looked after it for the past week and he's a great little cat and really sociable... but my mum is allergic to cats :(
He may even end up being put down in the end as there is little more we can do for him if his symptoms get not better. Sorry to completely reverse an otherwise fun and happy thread
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If stopping his misery is the only way then so be it.....That's not cruel.... Compassion is what that is....
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There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary,
and those who don't.
:biggrin:
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There are 3 types of people in the world
Those who can count
And those who can't
Jason :biggrin: :Hoofies2:
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Cats should be banned!! I'm allergic to the little mangy bags of fur!!!
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There are 3 types of people in the world
Those who can count
And those who can't
Jason :biggrin: :Hoofies2:
i love that, its simply brilliant
Cats should be banned!! I'm allergic to the little mangy bags of fur!!!
and i totally agree with you :biggrin:
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There are 3 types of people in the world
Those who can count
And those who can't
Jason :biggrin: :Hoofies2:
i got another version of that
there is 10 types of people in this world
the ones that can understand binary
and the ones who cant.
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Toddy ;) ;D
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary,
and those who don't.
:biggrin:
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I'm getting Deja Vous again Toddy :haha:
Remember it's a funny old life you'll be lucky to get out of it alive
Jason :Hoofies2:
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well jason tell me when u get out of it, if you are alive or not
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I got Deja Vu once ..... or should that be twice :-\ :biggrin:
We get Deja Vu sometimes because our brain see the image from our eyes one at a time. Sometimes the brain mixes the images up so thinks it's seen a image before ... Deja Vu :thumbs:
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But you dont see things from like a week in the future like that surely???
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Thats not Deja Vu, thats premonitions!
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Thats not Deja Vu, thats premonitions!
Ahh yes but a week later it becomes Deja Vu :haha:
Jason :Hoofies2:
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My dad sore the neighbours cat get run over outside their house. They where out so he ... scr***ed it up and put in a shoe box and buried it in the back garden and put a little cross on it.
That night when they came home he went round to tell them the sad news.
He went in the house and sat in the chair was the cat :o
He'd buried someone else cat in the garden ( :-[ ) :biggrin:
They left it there it's funny but then again a cat did get killed :-\
Notice how I include CATS and Deja Vu !?
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How does " Funny as heck" go from funny to "Deja vu ?...Not that I care,was just wondering :biggrin:.....Anyways I've noticed I usually go somewhere/do something when I'm dreaming, before I actually go there/do it.....Weird....
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wow, this has turned into a serious topic lol
quick, gotta change it
why did the chicken cross the road?
coz it felt like it
:haha:
lonesome little buddy, here have another friend, one that dances :biggrin:
:banana:
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A little boy says to his dad one morning "what's that daddy? pointing at his father's crotch.
" Erm....That's my Hedgehog son" says dad...
"It's got a really big willy ain't it? his boy replied
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How do you get a football team in a mini ?
Get them to run round and round it untill their all in ! :biggrin:
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If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home why not move 10 miles away? ;D
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Did you know 48.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
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wow that's incredible...i always thought it was higher!
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wow that's incredible...i always thought it was higher!
Whoosh!
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I've told you a billion times not to exaggerrate!!!
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everything that you read on the internet is wrong
:banana:
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everything that you read on the internet is wrong
:banana:
Which means that :-
Not everything that you read on the internet is right ( as in the above statement ).
I don't get the joke ?
50% of people are below average intelligent. :nana:
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So....A little penguin was driving along one day when all of a sudden his little penguin car coughed and spluttered a bit then conked out. He was fortunate in that his car broke down just a couple of yards from a garage,so he hopped out and waddled up to the mechanic who was under a car, and tapped him on the foot....
"'S'cuse me" said the penguin " my car's just broken down right outside and there's a big puddle of gooey black stuff under it,do you think you could have a look at it please?"
"Sure,just let me finish off this oil change and I'll see what's up.Can you come back in about half an hour?" replied the mechanic.
"Ok,is there somewhere I can get a drink while I wait?" asked the penguin.
"There's a cafe just up the road" answered the mechanic.
In search of refreshment, off waddled the little penguin and duly found what he was searching for,he pushed open the door, waddled up to a stool at the counter and hopped up. Being a little warm after all his waddling,he ordered an ice cold coke and a vanilla ice cream sundae.....After eating his sundae and drinking his coke,the little penguin paid his bill and waddled back to the garage to find the mechanic inpecting his car's engine...
The mechanic looked up from under the bonnet of the little penguin's car on hearing the patter of webbed feet and said
"You'll not be driving this anytime soon,looks like you've blown a seal"
"Oops! Sorry,it's kinda hard eating ice cream with flippers....So, what's up with the car?" said the little penguin..... :biggrin: