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Author Topic: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES  (Read 10568 times)

Offline webmaster

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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« on: May 19, 2008, 02:13:16 PM »
Thought you all may like this, taken from http://dysan.net/weird/show/704.html. If it fails to make you laugh then you are having a seriously bad day   :D

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Offline chocl8

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2008, 02:19:06 PM »
Hehehehehehehehe  :D love it Naz, no. 7 ftw, though no.10 also rules!  :D
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Offline Paul-Self

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2008, 02:55:39 PM »
lol !! thats good yeh number 6 is quite funny 2 :P
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Offline choco bean

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2008, 04:08:14 PM »
 :haha: I like 5-7 and the last one! :banana:
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Offline Jelly

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2008, 05:12:33 PM »
Ha ha Naz, that was funny, dont make me laugh tho cos it really hurts! lol. jelly x
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Offline toddy

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2008, 05:20:08 PM »
i like all of them  :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
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Offline Mini Ellis

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2008, 06:12:30 PM »
Quote from: webmaster on May 19, 2008, 02:13:16 PM
Thought you all may like this, taken from http://dysan.net/weird/show/704.html. If it fails to make you laugh then you are having a seriously bad day   :D

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

haha i have a t-shirt with that last quote on =]

wil have to dig it out sometime lol


Mini Ellis xx
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Offline Brendan (NeoNinja)

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2008, 06:31:03 PM »
Daily thought for the win! :D Excellent find!

...we should try and think of some of our own :)

...thinks...

...Fails. (maybe later) ;)
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Everyone's dreams sit aloft a rungless ladder. Some ladders are higher than others. Some are so tall they reach high above the clouds - but everyone can see their dream. Most people see that their ladder has no rungs and although they may talk about climbing it one day, seeing no way to get there, they eventually give up and settle for what lies beneath it.
      The brave however, the wise, the imaginative and the strong of will seek out their missing rungs. They learn all they can about the ladder, they surround themselves with friends and family who would also find the rungs, and failing all else they craft the steps themselves with their own two hands from nothing. Sometimes a rung breaks and the person falls. Some of these people will fall too hard and lose the strength to climb again - Yet they feel comfort in knowing they tried. They became better for it. And they experienced things and witnessed sights upon the climb that those who sat forever beneath it will never know.
      Then there are the special few who find new steps, or fix and climb again the ones that failed. Who eventually, through sheer tenacity and courage come to reach the final rung - Only they will have their dreams fulfilled. The extraordinary then build new ladders. These are the strongest people of all.

Offline Jason

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2008, 11:07:46 PM »
Was it meant as a joke Naz  :biggrin:

I thought it was all good advice except

1. Thats silly you don't put ice in beer so how could I choke  :thumbs:

2. Never cut myself cooking Thats womans work   :nana:

3. Solved that one first argument about the loo seat I unscrewed is and chucked it out no arguments now  :thumbs:

4. High blood pressure Hur thats for people that give a  :censored:

5. Whats an alarm clock  ???

6. Buy bicycle clips and you can cough again  :banana:

7. You forgot "If she talks an shouldn't" on the duct tape bit  :biggrin:

8. Do I really for that long  :haha:

9. Even I run out of ideas sometimes  :biggrin:

I'm safe I live in a bungalow  :banana: :banana:

Jason  :Hoofies2:

Ps Girls please don't hit me I'm only joking  :haha:
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Offline Brendan (NeoNinja)

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2008, 01:05:56 AM »
I won't show my girlfriend that. She'd beat you up. ;D


...Yes. She could! :D lol.
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Everyone's dreams sit aloft a rungless ladder. Some ladders are higher than others. Some are so tall they reach high above the clouds - but everyone can see their dream. Most people see that their ladder has no rungs and although they may talk about climbing it one day, seeing no way to get there, they eventually give up and settle for what lies beneath it.
      The brave however, the wise, the imaginative and the strong of will seek out their missing rungs. They learn all they can about the ladder, they surround themselves with friends and family who would also find the rungs, and failing all else they craft the steps themselves with their own two hands from nothing. Sometimes a rung breaks and the person falls. Some of these people will fall too hard and lose the strength to climb again - Yet they feel comfort in knowing they tried. They became better for it. And they experienced things and witnessed sights upon the climb that those who sat forever beneath it will never know.
      Then there are the special few who find new steps, or fix and climb again the ones that failed. Who eventually, through sheer tenacity and courage come to reach the final rung - Only they will have their dreams fulfilled. The extraordinary then build new ladders. These are the strongest people of all.

Offline webmaster

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2008, 01:08:02 AM »
I’m surprised his better half hasn't already done that a few times  :D
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Offline Jason

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2008, 09:27:43 PM »
It's strange some times random females just walk up and punch me  :biggrin: can't understand why  ???

And yes she does beat me regularly I'm a battered husband  :'(

Jason  :Hoofies2:
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Offline Spud

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2008, 09:38:37 PM »
Quote from: Jason on May 20, 2008, 09:27:43 PM
It's strange some times random females just walk up and punch me  :biggrin: can't understand why  ???

And yes she does beat me regularly I'm a battered husband  :'(

Jason  :Hoofies2:

Awww  :rolleyes: ... *slaps Jason*  :haha: Just kiddin. You are funny.

 :spudT:
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Offline webmaster

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2008, 09:46:16 PM »
 :haha:

I was about to write a similar reply Spud but you got there first  :biggrin:
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Offline Jason

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2008, 10:05:24 PM »
Thankyou Girls

Another 2 random slaps just for being me  :biggrin:
And they say men are violent  :nana:

Jason  :Hoofies2:
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Offline Nero

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2008, 12:43:24 AM »
battered bockers?
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Offline tundraH

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2008, 07:24:57 AM »
Quote from: Jason on May 19, 2008, 11:07:46 PM
9. Even I run out of ideas sometimes  :biggrin:

I'll help you out again.

9. If turning it off and on again doesn't solve it, it's not an electrical problem.
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Offline Nero

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #17 on: May 21, 2008, 01:21:31 PM »
tundraH you forgot about the technical tap
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Offline hybrid_hex

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #18 on: May 21, 2008, 06:50:32 PM »
erm, point no.9, thats what we use on the aircraft, If i smack it with a hammer, and it doesnt work, its an electrica trades problem!! lol!!
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Offline magzzie

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2008, 02:47:29 PM »
http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2008, 03:10:52 PM »
Quote from: magzzie on June 04, 2008, 02:47:29 PM
http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing
My brother got an electric shock of a fridge once ! I didn't believe him untill I had put my in the same place  :censored: :banghead:
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Offline Spud

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2008, 03:16:05 PM »
Quote from: magzzie on June 04, 2008, 02:47:29 PM
http://dysan.net/weird/show/693.html i love this one i was on the floor laughing

that was quite funny! Thanks for sharing :)

 :spudT:
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Offline Mangobyte

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2008, 06:30:45 PM »
haha, awesome!  I was trying out a shock collar for our dog a couple weeks back; fortunately it had a power dial to control how powerful of a shock you deliver.  I got up to 2.5 (out of ten) before I decided going higher would be a bad idea.  gotta love electricity.
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Offline Spud

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2008, 06:38:37 PM »
I have 2 fears. Electric shocks and babies.

here is a random thing. I know a guy that has been hit by lightning...TWICE!!!
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Offline magzzie

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Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2008, 01:26:15 AM »
my friend tried a shock collar we couldnt stop laughing at him twitch :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
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